11/06/2014

Divorce and How it Affects a Child

People who come from divorced parents have a broken idea about marriage, but not just marriage, relationships in general.

Most people who come from divorced parents have a hard time being close to friends, family, and just about anyone with full surrender.  While others look at the divorce as a catalyst in their life and decide in their mind that a divorce is everything they don't want and will fight for a long lasting marriage and then there are some that think, "che sara, sara", what will be, will be in the marriage, no biggie.


Spiritually,  marriage is not just a vow of words, it can be a fusion of the souls. However, if the souls are not connected from the get-go they are indeed to divorce. There is an unspoken discussion between the souls to allow to bring forth the relationship to combine families for the sake of energetic karmic resolve.  If the couple are to have children, through blood or adopted they have soul contracted to give life, a home, a place for these beings to see something for themselves. Many marriages heading into a divorce can be resolved and saved through true understanding of oneself, other, and the whole situation. However, it is most likely people divorce because of betraying your spouse. This in itself can be a chronic issue in the marriage or it can be a fluke, but the betrayal in not the underlying issue. 

Therefore, we need to have a true evaluation and give the marriage a real chance to recover and rebalance itself as first two people who share the love for their child/children. The other thing is that we all need to understand that marriage is not easy. It's a job. And yes I will say it again, it's a job. Many say that a good marriage should be free flowing. Yes, it should be, but you'll only reap the benefits of the free flowing marriage when you've put in the work of a good foundation (which I will get to in another blog). 


In a normal divorce, one without crisis such as physical or mental abuse, chronic distrust, any physical danger to you or your children you should wait out the marriage. What do I mean by this? Let the children ease into the divorce. Give them an understanding of how life is going to be once you are divorced. Actually live out the life you will have being divorced while living in the same home all together. Even if it's Six months to a year, have your children feel the new life, instead of over explaining things to them. A child can and will never really understand a divorce. They will think, "it's my fault, it's their fault, it's God's fault", ect. Therefore, to force the child to understand divorce, no matter what age they are they are not understanding of it. Stay in your hearts and love your children's Father/Mother. This person was once your friend, your partner, your lover. Trust that this union was made to allow your souls to learn and grow from this situation, rather than become hard and angry with those around you. Finally, asking for grace for your children to be free of pain and feel loved and understood never hurts. 

Our society needs a lot of mending and it starts with the family.

Here is a video that inspired me to write this blog;



Photo credit: www.picgifs.com

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